


Brolyverse:  Royal Pains

by Laci_Taleweaver



Series: Brolyverse [2]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Brolyverse AU, F/M, M/M, Multi, Saiyan AU, brief mentions of what may be Underage for some folks, in each other's pants before eventual romance, secondhand embarrasssment, there will be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2020-07-09 17:50:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19891888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laci_Taleweaver/pseuds/Laci_Taleweaver
Summary: King Vegeta IV hires an Earthling woman, rumored to be a genius, to work on a personal project.  But he may have gotten more than he's bargained for, and the soft-hearted third-class warrior assigned to work with her DEFINITELY has.  Depending on where this goes, warnings may change; be sure to watch the tags for changes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I honestly have no idea why I can't finish a fic without creating another one a few chapters in. I promise I haven't forgotten about Love In A Hopeless Place; this just screamed at me to be written. Set in the same AU as Governor Broly, about 20 years earlier.

**Age 756**  
West City

The Briefs household was turned upside-down by the arrival of a message from King Vegeta of the Saiyans. Dr Trunks Briefs stared at the screen, jaw open, utterly bemused.

_Doctor Briefs:_

_The news has reached us that your daughter is as skilled with technology as you are, and has been instrumental in adapting Saiyan technology for Earthling use. Therefore, we request her presence in our capital city to perform special research that could mean an end to the Frieza Wars. Due to the sensitive nature of this research, we cannot give more details digitally. An escort will arrive to collect your daughter in exactly one month._

After that had been the signature, which included all of the young king's official titles.

"You can't go!" Panchy cried. "I can't let my baby girl go out into space with a war on!"

"Mom," sighed Bulma, "I'm 23 years old. I think I can handle myself. Besides, they're sending an escort to make sure nothing happens to me on the way to Vegetasei."

Dr Briefs finally found his voice. "Dear, our Bulma is a big girl now. The king of the Saiyans has summoned her, and it's not like we can just say no. He's the head of the alliance, after all." _And powerful enough to kill us all in an instant_ , he carefully didn't say.

  
The Saiyan who came to pick her up on the appointed day had a disarming smile and messy hair that went in every direction at once. "You must be Ms. Briefs. I'm Kakarot." He looked way too sweet and innocent to be a warrior, but he was in armor. Did Saiyan noncombatants wear armor, too? Bulma couldn't remember.

"Nice to meet you, Kakarot." Bulma shook his hand before walking with him to the ship. She was traveling light--for her. Apart from her usual toolkit, only seven suitcases, a jacuzzi, and her smallest makeup kit were in the capsule case in her purse. "I'm very excited for this opportunity."

"I gotta say, I've never gotten to come to Earth before. Your planet is really pretty. I've never seen such a nice garden!" His tail wagged with excitement, almost like a puppy. It was kind of cute, actually.

"So what sort of research does His Majesty want me to do for him?" Bulma avoided asking the other questions she wanted to ask: _Is it true he's single? Is he cute?_ After all, as nice a fantasy as it was to date royalty--candlelit dinners in fancy restaurants, dancing in an elegant ballroom--she knew she didn't have a chance. Only third-class Saiyans did much dating outside their own species, and they preferred partners who were strong. She definitely wasn't.

"Well, the war against Frieza is draggin' on, and we still don't have enough firepower to defeat him. So the king wants someone to help him get stronger, so he can achieve the power of the Super Saiyan. Then, maybe he'll be strong enough to take down Frieza and end this war before we lose any more Elites." Bulma realized what the young warrior carefully didn't say--despite their battle prowess and their infamous strength, the Saiyans were getting their asses handed to them.

Well, if this Super Saiyan thing was really possible and not just an old wives' tale, Bulma Briefs would make it happen, sooner or later. She'd been toying with the idea of a gravity-enhancing device, but wasn't sure how she'd make it work or what form it was going to take. It looked like she was going to use it for this project, then. During their trip, she began furiously scribbling notes about possible technology that could be adapted for the purpose and making lists of necessary tools and materials.

  
Bulma stepped off the ship onto the surface of a new planet, adjusting her gravity belt to sit slightly higher on her waist. It was a bit heavy, but it was the only way she'd be able to handle Vegetasei's higher gravity without being crushed. The Saiyans assured her that over the next year or so, she'd adjust, but the blue-haired scientist wasn't sure she'd be staying quite that long.

"Okay, Ms. Briefs, the palace is in that direction," Kakarot said, pointing. "I've got to go report in, but they're pretty sure I'll be picked to work with you. General Nappa says I'm expendable!" He smiled, proudly.

"You don't know what that means, do you?" Bulma asked. She'd noticed during their flight over that her escort wasn't all that bright.

"It means I'll be spending a lot more time around you. I hope we can be friends! See you later!" He dashed off in the direction of a squat building that was, presumably, the barracks.

Bulma shook her head and headed toward the palace. She'd need to freshen up before her audience with the king.

  
"Your Majesty! Presenting Miss Bulma Briefs of Earth!"

Bulma took a deep breath and walked forward into the throne room, her little black dress swishing slightly as her hips swayed, her pumps click-clacking on the tile floor.

The young king gazed at Bulma haughtily over his nose. He was short, but stockily built; muscles bulged from the small frame, barely concealed by the tight spandex under his ceremonial armor. There were only a few differences between the king's attire and that of his army: gloves shielded the royal hands from view; a blood-red cape draped from the pauldrons of his armor; the royal crest was enameled onto his breastplate. The ceremonial necklace worn only by the king dangled around Vegeta's neck, and a thin gold circlet, a small concession to the expectations of other planets in the Alliance, rested on his brow. In short, he was the very image of a powerful warlord in all but stature. A guard stood on either side of the dais that supported the royal thrones; the queen's throne was empty, and the Dowager stood behind it. The king's brother, Prince Tarble, stood at the other side, behind Vegeta.

"So you're the daughter of the Earthling who invented the capsules that have been so useful to our army." _Good God,_ thought Bulma, _he looks almost bored._ She'd dressed to impress, but maybe Saiyans didn't care so much about things like that, if they all dressed alike.

Meanwhile, the young king had decided that the Earthling woman he'd sent for was hardly worth his time. _By the gods, I can see half of the Briefs woman's breasts! She's dressed up as if this were some sort of sexual arrangement, instead of a business deal. What a vulgar woman._ She'd better deliver on the agreement, or he would make her suffer for humiliating him like this.

"That's right. I understand you're looking for a way to gain power, fast." Vegeta raised his eyebrows at her complete failure to use any of the traditional addresses for royalty from either his planet or her own. She was on thin ice with an attitude like that.

Bulma soldiered on. "I've got a few ideas based on the gravity systems in your ships, but I'm still working the kinks out." She handed him her blueprints. "It should take me about three months to build the prototype, and then I'll need one of your soldiers to test it before I can be sure it's up to your standards."

As he read the blueprints, the king's expression changed from boredom to pure shock. "You came up with all this in the month it took to get here?" Shit, this woman really was a mechanical genius if she could design something this detailed, sight unseen, in so little time.

"I hope my design meets with your approval." She knew it did. _Check, and mate._ He was going to give her everything she needed to construct and test that prototype. Bulma fought the urge to grin.

"It's...adequate." Hell, it was more than adequate, but the woman had enough of a swelled head already. "A workshop will be prepared for you in the next 24 hours. I trust you won't waste any time constructing the chamber."

"Of course," Bulma said, bowing. "Thank you for your time." _What an asshole._

"Hmph." Vegeta scowled as the sound of Bulma's heels echoed down the hall. _That woman is trouble._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bulma gives into temptation. Also, Vegeta is an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That's right, I'm going straight for the smut. It's hard not to love an adorably inexperienced Goku. :3 Also, I've got the next few chapters lined up, so I can keep this shipping train going!

"That's enough for today, Kakarot," Bulma called out. "I'm shutting it down."

It had been six months since the gravity chamber had been built, and the young Saiyan had progressed to training under seven times the planet's normal gravity (or as Bulma still thought of it, 70G). The heart monitor showed no sign of strain, and so far his physicals weren't indicating any ill-effects from the higher gravity. If today's results were equally promising, it might even meet King Vegeta's high standards. She might even have the king training in the chamber within a week. The young royal was scheduled to test Kakarot's strength with a spar in three days, assuming no real damage was done in the meantime.

Kakarot emerged from the gravity chamber, shucked his outer armor, then went to lie down on the mediscan unit. A push of a button, and the machine began forming high-resolution images of his bones and internal organs for holographic display. Bulma checked over the Saiyan warrior's bones and muscles for signs of strain, paying careful attention to his legs and spine, which would be the most burdened by the extra weight. Everything appeared to be normal.

"So how do I look, Ms. Briefs?" Kakarot asked, hoping everything had gone well. He'd gotten much stronger already, and might even be a match for the young king himself! If Ms. Briefs said he was still ok, maybe he'd be training in there with King Vegeta soon. He'd never dreamed he might get to spar with royalty someday when he'd been selected for the experiment.

"I've told you a hundred times, Kakarot, call me Bulma. And you look--" The scientist turned to face Kakarot, and something clicked. She hadn't really paid much attention to Kakarot as a **man** , had she? He'd just been the warm body she was testing the machine on. But now, with sweat gleaming on his body in those tight knee-length shorts, Kakarot looked _good_.

"--fine."

Kakarot noticed the change in the young scientist's tone at about the same time that a whiff of arousal hit his nose. She couldn't be into him, not really? She was so smart, and he was...not so much. Good in battle, sure, but not at tech or biology or big words or anything. And he hadn't been all that strong, either, at least until lately. He was a third class. Hardly mating material for someone like her, barely even worth a casual lay. But that scent didn't lie.

 _Don't do anything stupid, Bulma,_ the blue-haired beauty thought to herself. _You work together. Don't make things weird._ He was her test subject. It didn't matter that he had the most adorably innocent expressions for a Saiyan, or that he was bulging with muscles or... _Fuck it. I'm gonna do something very, very stupid. And he better make it worth my while._

"Kakarot, could you come with me for a moment?" Bulma said, trying to sound calm and professional and totally not like she was about to bring her subordinate back to her room and bang his brains out.

"Uh, sure." See, Ms. Briefs was back to normal. She wasn't gonna do anything. There was just no way. The arousal was just a fluke. She was an Earthling, and probably only really wanted to have relationships and sex and stuff with other Earthlings. This was probably just a normal, science thing. He'd follow her wherever she wanted him to go, probably submit to further tests and _oh dear gods, this was the corridor that led to the guest suites_. Kakarot was beginning to feel very, very nervous.

 _I can't believe I'm doing this,_ Bulma thought as her suite door sensed her scouter signal and slid open. _I can't believe I'm about to actually have sex with an alien hunk! It's like something out of one of Tights' romance novels._ She turned on the lights and set her scouter on the table in her outer room.

"Um, Bulma?" The door closed automatically after Kakarot walked through it.

Bulma froze, her hand about to open the bedroom door. Right. The man. The man she was about to have sex with.

"Are we really gonna go to your bedroom?"

"Yes, Kakarot, we really are."

"Well, that's--that's great and all, but, um..." Oh no. Not a "but." He wasn't interested. She'd gone and dragged a guy into her suite and he wasn't interested in her, and now things were going to be **so awkward** at the lab and...

"I've never actually...done it...before." Kakarot scratched the back of his head in that utterly endearing way of his. "I dunno if I'm gonna be any good at this."

"You're a virgin?" Bulma couldn't believe it. She'd heard most Saiyans were pretty promiscuous, by human standards. The idea that a grown man hadn't even fooled around...

"Well, I mean I know how it all works, and Raditz used to brag about it whenever he charmed someone into bed with him, but hearin' about a thing isn't the same as actually doin' it, you know?" He really was a virgin. She was going to be someone's first.

"Don't worry, Kakarot. I'm sure you'll do just fine." As she stepped into her bedroom, Bulma took off her lab coat and kicked off her shoes. "Now get in here, stud." Kakarot obediently followed.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" He was asking for permission. Something about that was so heartbreakingly beautiful. "'Cause, you smell so good right now, I kinda want to taste you. All of you."

Bulma answered his question by pressing her lips to his. After a moment of surprise, the young warrior wrapped his arms around her, deepening the kiss. Bulma could feel him hardening against her hips. Then, suddenly, he pulled away.

"What--?" She never finished her question. Goku suddenly ripped open her blouse, buttons going everywhere. "Hey," Bulma cried. "That was expensive!"

"I told you, Bulma. I wanna taste all of you," he half-growled into her ear. He nipped her ear before slowly dragging his tongue down her neck. "Mmm....you taste so sweet, Bulma."

"So now I'm Bulma, huh?" The young scientist revelled in the feel of his lips against her collarbone, his hands on her breasts.

"Well, it'd be kinda weird to keep calling you Ms. Briefs while we're in bed together." He was eyeing the closure of her bra. Bulma thanked Kami she'd worn a bra with a front closure today. She certainly didn't want him tearing up any more of her clothes. "So how does this thing work, anyway?"

Bulma laughed and unfastened her bra, freeing her breasts to Kakarot's appreciative gaze. He showed his gratitude with his tongue, running it over the two pale mounds with a slowness that was sweet torture to her. Finally, he turned his attention to her nipples, kissing and sucking them to hard little points before giving each one a playful, gentle bite. The scientist was getting weak in the knees, and impatient for him to do what she'd brought him here for.

"Come to bed," she murmured, backing onto the bed herself, lying back on the soft mattress. Kakarot shed the last of his clothing and crawled over her, stopping at her waist.

"I gotta do something first." Off went Bulma's skirt as Kakarot dipped his tongue into her navel, then licked his way slowly down to the waistline of her panties. She obligingly lifted her hips as he pulled down that last bit of fabric.

The sweet smell of Bulma's arousal called to Kakarot like a siren. "I said **all** of you, Bulma," Kakarot said before placing a kiss just above the mass of curls between her legs. Strong hands gently, carefully, spread her swollen lower lips.

"Kaka--oh!" He began to lap up the sweet nectar between Bulma's thighs, purring louder as her head fell back and she moaned. Kakarot couldn't believe it. He was surrounded by the taste and scent of a beautiful woman, giving her pleasure as he licked and sucked at tender pink flesh. It was like a wonderful dream: her soft, rhythmic moans; her hands on the back of his head, holding him down; and everywhere that sweet, sweet smell. He vaguely remembered hearing something about the clitoris, and as his lips surrounded that tiny nub of flesh, Bulma's moans grew louder. He suckled it a moment, then dipped his tongue down, into the opening where that delicious fluid was coming from. She tasted so damn good, and part of him wondered if all Earth women tasted that way, or if he was lucky enough to find the sweetest on his first try.

Bulma panted. "Kakarot...please, please!" She couldn't find the words she wanted, but the Saiyan seemed to understand. Kakarot lifted his head, then moved so that his lips found Bulma's own. Her tongue pressed for entry, and he eagerly opened his lips, caressing her tongue with his own. Her hand guided him into place, and the next thing he knew, Kakarot was inside her.

He slid in easily, moaning into her mouth as he felt how wet and tight she was. The Saiyan stopped for a moment, panting as he broke the kiss, savoring the feeling of being sheathed in warm, velvety softness. Then, he began to move, his hips falling into an instinctive rhythm. "Bulma, oh gods...you feel so good..." Each thrust sent him in deeper, until his hips were flush against hers.

"Ah...harder!" Had his cock been that big before? It felt enormous, yet at the same time there was no pain. There was only insistent, throbbing pleasure, an aching need for more and more and **more**.

"Like this?" He thrust in harder, faster, feeling a familiar pressure building up within him. Yes, he recognized this feeling from the evenings he'd spent alone, stroking himself. It wouldn't be long now.

"Yes! So close..." Bulma clung to Kakarot like a lifeline, as if she could will him to make her come just by keeping his muscular chest against her own. Her legs around his waist pulled at him, her hips meeting his thrusts, and then suddenly he pressed at just the right angle to brush against a spot Bulma had nearly forgotten was inside her. And then he hit it again. And again. And again.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!"' She came hard, pulsing around his cock as her nails dug into his back. The pressure drove Kakarot over the edge and he cried out her name as his seed filled her.

They lay, panting, in the afterglow as Kakarot pulled back out. "Woah. That was pretty intense."

"It sure was," Bulma said, grinning slyly. "Are you sure you've never done this before?" If he was this good his first time, she couldn't imagine how much better Kakarot would get with practice. And she had a feeling they'd be "practicing" quite a lot from now on.

* * *

**A Few Weeks Later**

Vegeta dodged another punch. It was clear how much the third-class had improved using the Briefs woman's training device; Kakarot was nearly on par with him now. "Impressive. But still not fast enough." A quick ki shot distracted the younger man just long enough for Vegeta to strike, knocking him out of the air.

The king landed, ignoring Kakarot as he touched ground with the practiced grace of a man who'd been flying since he was in diapers. "Woman. Your device is clearly sufficient. I will begin training with it tomorrow." Behind him, the third-class warrior groaned and staggered to his feet.

"I have to say, I wasn't expecting such stellar results this quickly," the young king remarked. "But Kakarot's peak ki level is only a few hundred points below mine now, and it was a mere 1500 when you began your experiment. At that rate, I should be strong enough to take out Frieza within a year."

 _Take out Frieza..._ Bulma still couldn't believe the audacity of King Vegeta's plan. He was going to openly approach the most dangerous creature in the galaxy, and either pummel him into submission or die trying. And since neither he nor Prince Tarble had chosen a mate or produced an heir, failure would put the planet--and with it, the Alliance--into political turmoil. Plenty of high-born Saiyans didn't think Tarble was strong enough to make a good king, physically or emotionally. In fact, they used their disdain for Tarble as a prime reason the young king should marry this daughter or that sister, trying to bargain their way into the royal family. For all his flaws, Vegeta had stubbornly refused any offers of marriage from families who openly insulted his younger brother, arguing that if Tarble wasn't good enough, then clearly they didn't think His Majesty was any better. It was almost noble. But it still left the king and the prince single and childless.

"Just don't be too reckless, or the whole Alliance might come crashing down around us," Bulma said, as if the king were her equal instead of her employer. Kakarot gaped at her. Didn't she understand that to insult the king was to court death? And why hadn't His Majesty done anything about it?

"Hmph. I know better than to charge in until I'm fully prepared, woman. After all, if I died, who else would you trade insults with?" Vegeta enjoyed this verbal sparring almost as much as a real fight. The Briefs woman amused him; most of the people he had to deal with on a daily basis had been beaten into submission, terrified to step even a millimeter out of line. But she was the one person other than his own brother to ever treat Vegeta, King of All Saiyans, as an equal. It was refreshing.

"After all," he continued, "Kakarot wouldn't even know when you were insulting him. He has the intelligence of a lettuce leaf."

"Hey, I'm right here," Kakarot said, then realized who he was talking to. "Er, Your Majesty."

These little barbs between her and Vegeta were intellectually stimulating, but Bulma was beginning to feel a very different sort of stimulation. She kept her poker face and hoped the king hadn't noticed.

Vegeta sniffed the air, then wrinkled his nose at the scent of her arousal as if it offended him. "Vulgar woman." He turned his back on the scientist and her test subject and walked away. Bulma tried not to watch the way his ass moved as he did so.

 _Damn it,_ the young scientist thought, _One of these days my libido is going to be the death of me._ She'd have to blow off some steam with Kakarot as soon as he got out of the healing tanks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bulma learns more than she bargained for about Saiyan culture. It's a lot to take in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, I sat on this chapter for way too long. Sorry about that.
> 
> So I picked up an idea about Saiyan basic training from some fics I've read in the last few months, so you get an exposition dump! I've also gone back and tweaked a few chapters to make things more consistent, but those are mainly minor edits that don't affect the plot of those chapters. Be aware that Saiyans are very alien, and are also very different from most mainstream cultures on Earth. This chapter contains a discussion about older adults having sex with young adults who've just reached the age of majority. If this is triggering to you, the second part of this chapter isn't going to be much fun. Please take care of yourself; your mental heath is way more important than my weird ideas about how the fictional space monkeys do sex-ed.

"I still don't understand why you insist on performing these tests yourself," Vegeta grumbled. The woman had been here for a year, had dozens of scientists of a variety of races working under her, yet she refused to delegate this task to anyone else.

"Are you kidding? This is the first time anyone's used gravity tech to deliberately enhance fighting strength, and the results are beyond anything I ever expected. At this rate, you'll both break 100,000 in another year." Bulma wrote down the day's results: thus far, both warrior and king had ki levels of 25,000 and climbing, and showed no signs of damage beyond the minor injuries that resulted from their spars.

Vegeta snorted. "And the fact that you get to see Kakarot naked isn't a factor?"

"What?" He knew. How did he know? She'd been very careful to be discreet. Had Kakarot said something?

"Please," the king huffed, "every Saiyan in the room can smell you all over each other the morning after you two fuck. We've known for months. I just never figured you'd be so depraved as to go after a third-class fighter who never even finished his _k'sharna_ training." Kakarot blushed a deep red and hung his head lower. Clearly, whatever this _k'sharna_ was, it was a deep disgrace to drop out of it.

"Your army assigned me someone who hadn't finished training?" Had they really had so little faith in her abilities? Or were they just so eager to have Kakarot removed from his training squad?

Vegeta grinned smugly. "Kakarot," he called.

"Er, yes, Your Majesty?" Kakarot hadn't been paying much attention to the conversation, but he didn't like the way King Vegeta was looking at him.

"What is Formation Delta for operations planetside?" The king eyed Kakarot, then gave Bulma a glance that said, _Watch him screw this up._

"Let's see....Delta formation...Um...the squad splits up 3 ways and the squadron commander activates a Blutz Wave Device so they all go Oza--"

"Wrong." Vegeta cut him off. "Delta formation is a _stealth_ formation, Kakarot. The communications officer scrambles scouter signals to ensure the group's ki can't be detected, then each soldier enters the enemy base as silently as possible and assassinates any high-ranking officers they encounter, again, as silently as possible. Any soldier who fails to avoid detection is considered lost and is not retreived."

Kakarot winced, and his tail dropped straight to the floor. He looked like he wanted to just fall through the floor and disappear.

"Is Ozaru form well-suited for any mission involving stealth, Kakarot?" Vegeta was twisting the knife in the metaphorical wound now, as if Kakarot wasn't humiliated enough.

"N-no, Your Majesty." Every Saiyan in the room laughed derisively.

"Hey!" Bulma interjected, coming to the young warrior's defense. "Haven't you humiliated him enough?"

"There are examinations under every career field, performed at the end of _k'sharna_ training. Any soldier who can't name all planetside and deep-space squad formations fails automatically and must be re-assigned to a non-combat position." Vegeta spoke as if this was all common knowledge, and he was being generous for informing a non-Saiyan of their culture. "In fact, I seem to recall seeing something about Kakarot's mother in the records during his background checks." The young king's cruel grin grew wider. "She failed her exam, didn't she Kaka--" Kakarot suddenly punched the young king in the face.

"You dare to strike your king?" Attacking a member of the royal family was considered an act of treason. The penalty was tail removal, followed by public execution.

Tears ran down Kakarot's face as he shook with rage. "Never insult my mother again. King or not, nobody says things like that about my mother!"

"Removing your tail would be a waste of time, third-class," Vegeta said, wiping blood from a split lip. "But remember: you only live because it would take too long to find me a strong enough replacement. And if you **dare** to strike me outside of the sparring ring again, nothing will save you: not the woman's fondness for you, not your father's military record, nothing!" The young king retrieved his crown and pendant and strode from the room, indignant, his tail slashing wildly through the air in his fury.

* * *

That night, in Bulma's bed, the Earth scientist asked Kakarot about _k'sharna_. "I get the feeling that it's not exactly like military training on earth, more like a rite of passage?"

Kakarot shifted a bit, clearly touchy about the subject. "Yeah. When we're 17, we're officially adults, and we get assigned to a squad for _k'sharna_ for 3 years. Most people want to go military, of course." Bulma nodded, completely unsurprised that a society that placed such high importance on military might would also prize new soldiers above the other professions.

"We have set class times in between squad missions, and of course the pleasure-training is any night they want you. I did okay at that, but I was terrible at working with a group. I just seem to do better on my own. That might have been fine in the old days, but not since the Frieza Wars started.

"I was way behind the rest of my cohort, so I probably was gonna fail the exam. Dad was always talking about how I better have inherited his brains, not just his looks. He'd be so mad if he knew I wasn't likely to pass. Anyway, I got pulled out a year into _k'sharna_ to bring you planetside, and I guess they figured I'd missed enough time fetching you that they might as well just put me into the experimental program and end my studies early." Kakarot sighed. "At least it meant I didn't disappoint my fathers, or shame the family. It was bad enough that Mom was a failure who'd been assigned to food production, then Raditz passed by the skin of his tail. If I'd failed too, then Dad and Pa wouldn't be able to get promoted later on, no matter how hard they fight for the Alliance. We might be branded a defective den, and then our lives would basically be over. Raditz wouldn't be able to get a mate, and the line would probably die with us, since nobody's gonna want a mate who didn't finish _k'sharna_ either."

"Okay, the stuff about military training, I get. But pleasure training? What in the world..." Bulma's voice trailed off. No. They couldn't force a barely-mature trainee to sexually service older fighters in their squad, could they?

Vegeta's words from earlier echoed in her head. _I never figured you'd be so depraved as to go after a third-class fighter who never even finished his_ k'sharna _training._ Oh god. Oh sweet Kami, what kind of fucked-up planet was she on, anyway?

"Bulma? Are you okay?" Kakarot pulled his lover closer, cradling her against his chest. "What's wrong? You just sorta stopped in the middle of a sentence there."

"The pleasure training. They make you have sex with the rest of the squad, don't they? Some kind of sick hazing ritual?" She couldn't believe that the Earth was allied with a planet that viewed that kind of violation as normal.

Kakarot just laughed. "Not all at once, that'd be weird! You get invited to a squad member's quarters every now and then, and they teach you how it all works. They never make you go farther than you're ready for, 'cause that messes people up in the head. But you do end up learning a lot of stuff hands-on. By the time I was pulled out, I knew what all the parts were for, and I was doin' all right with my mouth, I just hadn't gotten any farther than that."

"And everybody's just...okay with their kids having to have sex with a bunch of older adults? Nobody's concerned about that?" Bulma knew the Saiyans were alien. She'd thought she was open-minded about that. But this form of initiation was a huge culture shock, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to get over that easily.

"Well, yeah. How else would you learn? Plus, if you do really good at it, everybody wants you for a mate, 'cause nothing calms down an angry Saiyan like a good roll in the furs. Well, everybody except your _k'sharna_ squad, since they're only really interested in making sure you know what you're doing. Is...is that not how you learn about sex on Earth?"

And that is how Bulma found herself explaining Earth sex-ed classes to an alien warrior, along with age-related taboos, the concept of sexual coercion, and the fact that it was considered deeply abnormal on Earth for an older adult to want anything to do sexually with a kid of 18. Kakarot listened carefully, but he still seemed to be confused about some of the aspects of how Earth did things--and no wonder, given his vastly-different background.

"So you learn about all the parts at age 12? That's so young! And then you never get any practical lessons at all? How do they know you're gonna learn all the best ways to make your partners happy? And why wouldn't you want to settle down with someone that you already know is good at it?"

It was Kakarot's turn to be shocked when Bulma explained the Earth concepts of abstinence until marriage and marital infidelity. "Isn't getting a mate before you even know how to have sex kinda backwards? You'd be learning how to do it with each other, and all at once! And then if it turns out you don't enjoy sex with each other, you're still stuck not having sex with anybody else? Man, either you Earthlings really hate sex, or you've got the most unfair mating setup I've ever heard of."

Thinking it over, Bulma couldn't help but admit that Kakarot was right. As screwed-up as the Saiyan approach to sex education was, Earth got it even worse. She sighed as she snuggled up against the young warrior. She wasn't sure what it said about herself that she'd stopped thinking about going home after the experiment. Could she really build a life here, knowing what she now did? What if--Kami forbid--she had children one day? What would happen to them?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakarot gets a salty surprise, and Vegeta hatches a wicked little plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So many of you are reading this for the eventual KakaVege that I should at least give you a small sample of what's to come. (In this case, Vegeta.)

Kakarot wasn't expecting the king to stop him in the halls a few weeks later, just after dinner. He was tired after a long day's training, and wanted nothing more than to relax in his own bed.

"Kakarot." Vegeta's tail twitched slightly from its spot around his waist. "Come here a moment."

The young man followed his king into a small alcove. They couldn't be seen here from down the hall, but if anyone walked right by, they would be very visible. Vegeta knew this; it was precisely why he'd chosen this spot.

"Did you need something, Your Majesty?"

Vegeta gave a sharp, predatory smile. "As a matter of fact, there is something I need you to do for me." He was gratified to see that Kakarot looked eager to do whatever his king asked of him, even if the fool hadn't figured out what he wanted yet.

"On your knees, third-class." Kakarot seemed a bit confused by this order, but he did comply. Good.

Vegeta pulled down the waistband of his tight spandex pants, revealing his rapidly-hardening length. "Service your king, Kakarot."

Kakarot looked slightly confused. "Um, you mean..."

The young king sighed. "Put it in your mouth, idiot."

Kakarot did as he was told, still not quite believing that he was actually doing this. Sure, he'd fellated Saiyans before, and Bulma had done it to him, but Vegeta was the king! The leader of the Saiyan Alliance! Usually a third-class didn't get the opportunity to--

"Ng! Watch your teeth, damn it!" the king growled above him.

Right. He needed to focus. Kakarot's tongue swiped the underside of the king's magnificent erection, feeling it gently pulsing in his mouth. He took a little bit more into his mouth, being very careful about his teeth, and sucked gently, earning him a hand on the back of his head, pushing him even further down.

He was near the base now, the cock in his mouth tickling the back of his throat, the scent of royal musk strong in his nose. Kakarot did his best to take the whole thing, knowing that it was better not to leave such a powerful man unsatisfied. The scent of Vegeta's arousal was turning him on, and the groans and praise in his ears only made Kakarot harder. He looked up, saw the king's face contort in ecstasy, and realized Vegeta was close. He gave another hard suck, then nearly gagged as the king fucked his face with ruthless intensity until the royal seed shot into Kakarot's mouth.

Vegeta sighed with contentment. "At least you learned _something_ from your training."

Kakarot swallowed the salty fluid in his mouth, hoping that Vegeta might do something about the erection tenting his own spandex.

"That will be all, Kakarot. I'll see you for our next training session tomorrow."

The third-class Saiyan sighed. "Yes, Your Majesty." He left for his quarters, unsatisfied. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Vegeta watched the third-class go as he adjusted his spandex. Kakarot clearly didn't have as much experience with this as the concubines he'd used in the past, but what he lacked in experience he made up for in eagerness to please. It didn't hurt that the younger man had such a lovely body, and a power level to match. Vegeta could almost understand why that vulgar alien woman slept with him. Almost. She must have taken it upon herself to finish his pleasure-training, to the extent that she could without a dick.

Kakarot might be fun to play with for a while, like so many others. By the time Vegeta grew bored with him, someone else would doubtless come along to throw themselves on the royal cock. He sighed. Having men and women throwing themselves at you (and sometimes, their daughters, in hopes of a royal mating) **sounded** like any young Saiyan's dream, but it grew exhausting after a while. Worse, his mother was pestering him about mating and siring an heir again. He was in his early twenties; he still had time. He wasn't going to throw himself recklessly at the enemy like his father. No, Vegeta was going to hone his body into the perfect weapon before he went after Frieza. After all, the legends prophesied that the Super Saiyan would arise at about this date, and the young king was utterly certain that it would be himself.

Another, incredibly wicked idea entered Vegeta's mind, and the young king smiled. His mother would be furious if she found out about this one. _I'll just have to be very sneaky_. And if he played his cards right, he could get some wonderful entertainment out of this new idea.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vegeta plays dirty. Or from another perspective, very clean. >:) Shout out to Cecil and Engie for the name inspiration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that plan Vegeta mentioned at the end of the last chapter? He's starting to put it into action.

Bulma had been summoned to the royal chambers, ostensibly to discuss the progress of the king's gravity training. She bit her lip as a guard with a shaved head and a stony expression led her down the hallway that led to King Vegeta's suite.

"The Earthling scientist, Your Highness," the guard said, his expression still unchanging.

"Thank you, Nappa," Vegeta called from somewhere within the suite. "That will be all."

Bulma remembered the dressing-down Vegeta had given Kakarot in front of the entire lab. If he was that harsh in public, how much more cruel would he be in private? But there was nothing for it. She stepped into the antechamber, wishing she were literally anywhere else.

Nappa remained outside the suite and turned his back to the door, which then whooshed shut. So Bulma had no support there. It was just her against the most powerful man in the entire Alliance, both physically and politically. She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and put on a brave face. Time to head to the room she'd heard the king's voice coming from and face the music.

She walked through the doorway to the right, and--Oh. This was the royal bath. Had she mistaken the time she was supposed to come here? Or did he respect her so little as to deliberately arrange his schedule so that she would be here during a bath?

Even naked, the young ruler had a noble bearing that made you forget his height. A gorgeous bath attendant stood at each side of him, one carefully scrubbing his shoulders as the other washed his hair. Bulma tried, and failed, to avoid a quick glance at the royal package. _How does he fit that monster into those tight uniforms?_

"As you are no doubt aware, recent intelligence has determined that Frieza's resting ki level is over half a million. Assuming that his ki rises during a battle, the Icejin bastard is stronger than I'm likely to become after another three years of training at the current gravity level." Three years was much longer than anyone had planned for. "The Alliance doesn't have the resources to hold off the Cold Empire for three years."

All this time, the bath attendants continued to scrub Vegeta's body. He seemed not to notice. "It is utterly imperative that you increase the gravity chamber's capacity as far as possible, as quickly as possible. I expect construction on a second, stronger gravity chamber to begin at once." An attendant's hand began cleaning the king's, er, groin area. Bulma tried to ignore what that hand was doing. She blushed.

The king grinned cruelly at her discomfort. "You really are a vulgar woman. Can't even see one without wanting to jump on it."

Now that was the last straw. "Excuse me? You're the one who chose to have this meeting while you were in the bath! Were you trying to humiliate me, or are you just so full of yourself that you feel the need to show off to all your employees?"

"Please. I could smell your arousal during training the other day, and it's even stronger now. Or did you forget that Saiyans have a keener sense of smell than you Earthlings?" Why did that cruel, wolflike smile turn her on? Too late, Bulma realized that the king intended to seduce her, and this meeting was all a pretence.

The attendant who'd drawn Bulma's attention to the royal jewels was now dutifully rubbing soapy water into Vegeta's thighs, while the other had finished scrubbing the young king's back and was now carefully cleaning his tail. "Mmmm....that is so relaxing," Vegeta murmured before turning his attention back to Bulma, who was still unable to look away. "You know, for someone who can't stand me 'showing off' my body, you seem quite intent on getting an eyeful."

He laughed. "I could tell from that shameless display on your first day here that you were a vulgar woman. I was afraid you had a preference for unfinished boys over men, but clearly you do have at least some taste."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Was he calling her some kind of pedophile? She'd only had sex with two people in her life, and both of them were adults.

"Pahela, Shurama, that will be all." The servants left. "Were you listening at all the other day? Kakarot's _k'sharna_ training was interrupted. By our laws, he is not a full adult until and unless the pleasure-training aspect is completed. Unless you're hiding something under your clothes, it's impossible to complete his training without an additional, male trainer. Therefore, you fucked a child, Kakarot's actual age notwithstanding." Vegeta carefully didn't mention that he'd used Kakarot's mouth himself; after all, putting an idiot third-class in his place was hardly the same as having sex with an unfinished male for _pleasure_ , which he was fairly certain she had done and was continuing to do to this day.

"What kind of sick system is that? He can't be an adult until he's finished some kind of sexual training, but he can't be trained because **you** pulled him out for the gravity-chamber experiment? You've got some nerve complaining that an alien who didn't know about any of this, had consensual sex with a 19-year-old man, when you're the entire reason he's not considered an adult in the first place!"

"For someone who wanted to pretend she wasn't fucking Kakarot a few days ago, you're awfully eager to continue talking about this." Shit. She'd fallen right into his trap. How much of this had the young king planned?

Vegeta, meanwhile, had climbed out of the bath, drying himself with a quick burst of ki, and was now advancing on her. "Tell me, Miss Briefs, have you lain with a real man before, or are you as inexperienced as Kakarot?"

Bulma realized to her horror--and, admittedly, arousal--that the king had backed her up against a wall. His hand came up and gripped her face gently, but firmly, while his tail took hold of her right wrist. Vegeta's other hand came to rest on her shoulder. Bulma didn't dare try to fight him off at this point; she'd seen him in action and knew that he could easily break her wrist, shoulder, or jawbone with little more effort than it took to breathe. She could smell something warm and musky in the air.

"Are you going to rape me, then? Violate my body for the sake of 'experience?'' She may not have much of a choice if he did, but Bulma wanted him to at least be able to admit that that's what he was doing.

"I'm merely curious, woman. If I'd intended to harm you, I would have done it by now." The king's lips were inches from her own; Bulma could taste his hot breath. But instead of kissing her, Vegeta stroked her cheek, then released her from his grasp, walking away towards his bedroom. "However, if you happen to also be curious about me, rest assured I will be happy to satisfy that curiosity." His tail waved in a sinuous motion, almost as if it were beckoning her into the room. Into his bed.

"You are dismissed, Miss Briefs. Good evening."

 _God, he's such a fucking tease._ "Right. See you tomorrow then," _you self-centered ass._ Bulma sighed and left the suite. A different guard guided her back to her own quarters.

 _I have to admit, though,_ she thought as she lay in her own bed that night, _it **is** a hell of an ass._


End file.
